Wednesday Wager
Genesis Edition
A couple swings, a couple misses. That’s what happens when you base your wagers on the three pillars of CPG gambling: hunch, personal bias, and unresolved grudges. Every now and then you’ve got to wade through the gorse, take your medicine, and hit the perfect punch-out. This feels like one of those days.
Last week I was close on Sepp Straka, but the Austrian-turned-Georgian-
He did putt it from the rough on the 72nd hole — a phrase that, in my house, means something entirely unrelated to golf.
Congrats to Collin and his wife, Katherine, who announced after the tournament that they’re expecting. Given the dog’s aforementioned wardrobe, we can assume that little Morikawa will be impeccably dressed from day one.
Can we get a prediction market on the gender? My guess is Asian.
On to this week’s Genesis Invitational, which is back at Riviera after a year away due to the wildfires.
Word to the wise: if you happen to be driving a loaner Genesis this week, don’t take any mountainous turns at ninety miles per hour.
My hunch is that the only “pedal misapplication” we’ll see will come from the slouches trying to hunt down Hideki Matsuyama.
That’s right, I’m picking the 2024 Genesis champion to win again this year.
Thus far, Hideki has looked #elite. Had it not been for the wasted droves hooting and hollering in Phoenix, he’d have walked away with a win. Instead, he did like so many of us and tugged his playoff tee shot into the drink.
I like Matty Fitzpatrick at the Genesis — Fitzy boy, aka the orthodontic turnaround. If he keeps his head out of his arse around the greens, his game is a good fit at Riviera.
He’s kind of a strange guy, though.
In 2019, I drafted my entire fantasy football team based not on athletic ability, but on content of character. I only wanted class acts on my roster. I ended up finishing dead last.
What’s that tell us about Fitzpatrick?
He might be a stone-cold psychopath, but he can play golf.
Rickie Fowler is off to a good start this season. I love seeing it. He’ll win at some point this year. It wouldn’t surprise me if he gave it a run this week.
Do I even have to mention Scheffler?
My betting strategy moving forward is going to be this: pray that he shoots poorly in the first round, watch the odds shift, then bet heavily on him to come back and win.
Although Sam Burns bores me to tears, and I was genuinely mortified by his decision to hit iron off the 72nd tee at Pebble Beach, he did look dangerous. It’s been a streaky year — he missed the cut at the Waste Management — and yesterday was Mardi Gras. Did the Louisiana man overindulge? Given his public image, that seems unlikely, but as someone who has spent a handful of Fat Tuesdays in New Orleans, I know that sometimes a man finds himself in a sticky situation.
Just ask my friend Darren Thibodeaux.
My value picks this week are Pierceson Coody and Kurt Kitayama.
Both have pretty good accidental porn names.
How about putting a little Pierceson on my Coody?
Sure, Kurt. Now touch my Kitayama.
Head over to the pro shop and pick up one of these hats while you still can. Over and out, Learning Center community. Drive safe and punch out responsibly.
