A New Day in Golf Has Arrived

Let’s face, golf’s World Rankings are fucked. There’s political bs going on between LIV, the PGA TOUR and the World Rankings cabal that I can’t get involved with but even when it was “working” I never understood any of the numbers they were using. You’re telling me Luke Donald got to the world #1 and John Daly never did? What the fuck is the MENA Golf Tour? Where are points for the Aleutian Islands Tour where golfers are literally dying in subfreezing conditions – it makes grinding out a living playing in South America seem like a weekend at Sandals. 

I don’t trust math – I’ve been burned too many times, but you know what doesn’t fail, my eyeballs. So I’ve stepped up to fix the world of golf with my World Rankings, The CPGWGR. It’s a combination of what I’ve seen with my own two eyes and my gut. Trust me, this is a more reliable measurement of who’s the best golfer on the planet instead of some math equation written by a Harvard nerd who’s never had to grind over a 3-footer to make rent. So here it is, the first installment of CPG’s World Golf Rankings. 

1. Scottie Scheffler – I really like this kid. He’s got the disposition of a golden retriever crossed with the ruthlessness of serial killer. Only thing that can stop him is between the ears. If you told me he walked off the cliff on Pebble Beach’s 8th hole it wouldn’t surprise me. 
2. Tiger – Just because he’s not currently playing doesn’t mean he still isn’t the best. Scottie gets the slight edge because of head to head performance in the majors last year, and Tiger’s ruptured achilles.
3. Rory McIlroy – His Masters win bumps him up to #3, but losing the Zurich against a field of no-names and sucking at The PGA and US Open are extremely worrying to me. Could this be Jimmy Walker 2.0, who fell off the map after getting fat, dumb and happy with his major victory? We’ll see. 
4. Berhard Langer – The total package. I don’t know why he doesn’t still play on Tour. He’s better than 99% of these kids who can hit a driver and not much else. 
5. Jake Knapp – His style, swing and swagger remind me a lot of myself at his age. Especially the swing. It’s like looking in a freaking mirror. I love this kid. 
6. Rickie Fowler – Still the best all-around player in the game – Full stop. If he can put it all together I could see him running off 5-10 wins a year. 
7. William Mouw – Don’t know this name? This is the kid who made the 13 and the Amex in Palm Springs earlier this year.  That he’s still out there grinding and didn’t retire then and there shows me something. Future Major Winner.
8. Zalatoris – I think he just needs a longer putter. Maybe a shorter putter. And one more back surgery. 
9. Vijay – Show me a better golf swing, I’ll wait. With his dedication to physical fitness I can still see him winning a major or two if he gets the putter to work. 
10. Wyndham Clark – I’ve never been a fan of this guy, probably because his first name reminds me of all the little turds I’ve coached in my junior clinics. You know the type, a kid who was born at -10 and thinks they shot a 59. 
11. Chance (didn’t catch his last name) from Olathe, KS – I played a twilight nine with this kid last week and I shit you not, HE.DID.NOT.MISS.A.FAIRWAY. He told me was going to try out at Ozarka College in Melbourne, Arkansas next season, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we see him playing on Golf Channel before that ever happens. 
12. Justin Thomas – Probably should be higher but I’m worried about his left hand placement on shots 100 and in. 
13. Sepp Straka – I’ll never forgive him for the Squairz golf shoes. He could win a Grand Slam and I still wouldn’t rank him in the top 10. He’s scarred for life in my book. 
14. JJ Spaun – Huge win for a lifetime grinder. Wouldn’t be surprised if this frees him up to go on a run of four or major wins in the next couple years.
15. Xander Schauffle – I’d love to rank him higher but honestly, if anyone had the coaching, equipment and attention that X has gotten his entire life from his dad, there’s literally no excuse for them not to win four or more events and a major every season. 
16. Bryson – Since I don’t have cable I’m mostly going off his youtube stuff but his round with a set of Costco clubs really impressed me.
17. Jon Rahm – Another LIV guy getting fucked by the system. But like I said, no cable, so for all I know he could have lost a hand in an Ez-Go accident and I wouldn’t have any idea. 
18. Corey Pavin –  Putting doesn’t age and there’s just no one better with the flat stick. I’m still holding out hope he stops being so stubborn and gives up the Pro V-1’s and switches to a hotter ball like the Mojo.  
19. Jordan Spieth – Grit. 
20. The Hojgaard Guy – This guy is so damned good, it’s like I see his name over and over again all up and down the leaderboard. He’s gonna be good. 

RISING – Angel Cabrera, Hideki Matsuyama, AK, Russell Henley, Spencer Levin, Linus Aberg