Ryder Cup: Fact or Fiction

It’s Ryder Cup week and my resume makes me uniquely qualified to give you world class insight about what’s happening behind the scenes for Captains Keegan Bradley and Luke Donald and their teams. As most of you know, in 1994 I was the Captain for Team Mexico in the Tecate Cup versus Guatemala. Aside from my wife Brandi having sex with almost my entire team (as well as three members of the Guatamalan team) – it was a week I’ll never forget. Here’s what I learned and what to expect at this week’s Ryder Cup from Bethpage Black in a segment I’m calling Ryder Cup, Fact or Fiction. 

The Captain’s job is vital – Fiction

I don’t care if you hire a team of analytics nerds, or if you do a deep dive into the ramblings of Paul Azinger and his “pod system,” or if you hire a psychic to tell you what to do – the decisions made by the Ryder Cup Captain have almost zero impact on the outcome of the event. How else do you explain Tiger Woods’ abysmal 13-21-3 record? How else do you explain Scottie Scheffler and Brooks Koepka losing a four-ball match 9&7 to two Scandinavians I’ve literally never heard of? How about stone cold killers like Fuzzy Zoeller going 1-8-1 or Fred Funk going 0-3? The short answer is, you can’t. These guys either show up and play great or they don’t, and there’s nothing Keegan can do about it. Now that they’re paid to play, they have even less reason to care about things like “pride” and “honor.” It’s a great soundbyte, but “patriotism” doesn’t buy prime waterfront real estate in Jupiter, Florida. So Keegan can go ahead and look important by wearing an earpiece, talking on a walkie-talkie and riding around in a golf cart like he’s leading Seal Team Six, but please understand that his presence has no bearing on the outcome.  

Gamesmanship is Key – Fact

In my mind participating in gamesmanship, or what some might call “dirty pool,” should be a given in the Ryder Cup. This is trench warfare and in an event like this there should be no mercy for your opponent. Seve Ballesteros famously went 4-0-1 at the 1991 Ryder Cup and literally played like shit. How did he do it? Gamesmanship! Seve had no problem ripping the velcro on his glove during an opponent’s back swing, or “early” walking during someone’s downswing, or questioning the legality of a golf ball. You name it, he tried it. Anything to win! We need some of that energy on team USA. I’d like to see Scheffler get out of his comfort zone by asking Rory about his well publicized marriage issues, I’d like to see Ben Griffin rip a massive wet fart during a critical Justin Rose tee shot and be totally unapologetic about it, I’d like to watch Byson mumble “bats could” on a Shane Lowry four-inch putt and after Shane picks it up, tell him he lost the hole. Anything for an edge! If the American Team is serious about beating a European team who clearly cares way more about winning than they do, it’s time to stop playing nice. 

The American Team are the favorites – Fiction

Let’s call a spade a spade – if the US team wasn’t getting paid this year, they’d probably have a team of journeymen and college kids who are willing to play for a free polo shirt and a chance to fire on Amanda Balionis. That’s just the reality of the business of sports in 2025. Let’s talk about the elephant in the room – these guys are dorks. The last team sport they played was youth soccer in 4th grade when their parents pulled them out of the league after one too boo-boos on their knee. Ever since they’ve lived at the end of the range, pounding balls while listening to Hootie on their headphones in quiet isolation. The team concept is totally foreign to them. 

Team Europe on the other hand is built on camaraderie. They know how to be social. All these guys have been drinking together since they were twelve and even though they’re from 10 different countries they’re united in their aversion to foreigners and circumcision and love of American tail. That’s a real bond! Here’s an exercise – imagine Patrick Cantlay and Bryson DeChambeau having a beer and watching a game together at Buffalo Wild Wings. Not gonna happen. Now imagine a team bus with Shane Lowry, Rory, Tyrell Hatton and Tommy Fleetwood with a few beers in them. That’s a team I want to be a part of. Sure, the world rankings look good on paper for Team USA, but if you think Russell Henley and Sam Burns are gonna intimidate the Euros or overwhelm you with their passion, pards, I’ve got a bridge to sell you. 

The players should be getting paid to play – Fact

As I wrote earlier, in 2025 these guys need to be paid to play, period. With the economy these days, I don’t blame them. Even though they make millions every year to play the game, there are no freebies in golf. I remember a few years ago I was asked to host a clinic for a group called Wonderful Wheels of Golf – teaching people in wheelchairs how to play the game. Like an idiot I agreed to do it free of charge. What did I get for my generosity? The members bitched at me for a week for all the wheelchair tracks on the putting green, not one player could get to their right side during their backswing so teaching them was a total waste of time and none of them were willing to buy anything from the shop ( if you ask me disabled people can be notoriously cheap). My point is this – there’s no such thing as a free lunch. If you want a guy like Xander Shauffele to embarrass himself by going 1-4-1 on a global stage, you need to pay him for his “efforts.”  PS – Subscribe to The Learning Center you cheap bastards!

Keegan Bradley made the right decision not to play – Fiction

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m a “fail big” guy. Whether it’s trying to punch out with a tiny gap in the trees, betting big on a 7-team parlay, or having random sex without protection my thought is always, “go big or go home.” Keegan’s thinking was he’s already got his hands full with all the decisions he has to make this week and playing would be too tall of a task. ALL THE MORE REASON TO PLAY! If he played and stunk it up or if his team got its ass whipped again he can just say that playing and coaching was too much to ask of him, but he had to do it, because no one cared about winning as much as he did. That’s a win-win!! Now imagine if he pulled off the win as coach AND got a few points as a player – instant legend. 

The Bethpage Black crowd will be a big advantage for Team USA – Fact 

The loud, obnoxious crowds from New York are the ONLY chance Team USA has to get into the Euro’s heads. Sure, half the Euros live in America and went to college here, but the onslaught of profanity, shit talk and drunken taunts of an East Coast crowd is something they’ve never experienced other than maybe at a Man City soccer game, but other than that, no way. A Justin Thomas fist pump, Patrick Cantlay hand to the ear, or Russell Henly / Xander Schauffele chest bump is nothing compared to what Joey from Hoboken is going to say to Matt Fitzpatrick about his mother’s sexual history or what a drunken Barstool fan who needs Rasmus Hojgaard to lose his singles match to win a wager will be willing to say.