Club Newsletter - May

CPG's "View From the Golf Shop" - I just can't believe the season is already in full swing.  Just so you know, the staff and I are busy spending most of our time preparing for this year's "Panhandler", our premier Member/Guest event.  I'm particularly excited to announce that this year we have hired an actual homeless person to 'panhandle' on-site throughout the event including the Saturday evening party.

Unlike past years, we are going to get a little more strict when it comes to just 'willy-nilly' assigning your guest with a handicap. For those guests who do not have an established USGA handicap in the GHIN system, I will no longer be assigning handicaps based solely on suggestions from you such as: 

1) "My partner played in college but hardly plays anymore.....he's about an 8".

2) "My guest used to be a single digit but has 3 kids now and never gets to play anymore, why don't you put him down as a 15"

3) "My partner hits it a mile but has no clue where it's going.  I'd say he's about an 18".

4) "My guest played on the mini-tour for a while and got his amateur status back but he tore his achilles 2 years ago.  Right now I'd say he's about a 9".

Beverage cart update - As you've all probably heard by now, we had to let Jasmine go last week due to her behavior during the Midwest Conference of Southern Baptist Minister's 4-man scramble outing.  Personally, I was against the termination and think some people need to grow a thicker skin, but it was out of my hands.  I wish Jasmine all the best.

 - Rachelle Meeks

The good news is that I have found a replacement for Jasmine.  Please join me in welcoming Rachelle Meeks to the team!  Rachelle sent me her resume on Instagram which was simply this picture.  I have no idea if she knows anything about golf, beverage carts, handling money or even the bare minimum of course etiquette, but feel very strongly that she will be an outstanding addition to the team.  Welcome Rachelle!

Let's throw it over to Darrel for news on Outside Services.

 - Darrel Bevins

"The Bevins Report"

Why do you people have to make everything so difficult?  Is all I ever asked for is for you to follow some simple rules.  Is it really that hard?  If the sign off the putting green reads "no chipping", that's what it means.  It doesn't mean "Hey, go ahead and hit some bump and run shots and hope nobody sees you".  Do you think I like physical confrontation?  Do you think I like screaming profanities at the top of my lungs?  Do you think I enjoy giving chase on foot on to the soccer fields adjacent to the golf course while young children are playing? (I'm looking at you Mrs. Walsh)

Get your sh*t together people because the busy season is upon us and I won't be in this good of a mood for much longer.

 - Miguel Vega

"Minutes with Miguel"

Oh boy. weeds start to grow very much now.  Fairways look good from very far away but no good up close.  Play the ball up, no?  Bunkers full of water but that's springtime haha no?  When you scream to my men to turn off mower when you hit golfing shot they ignore you.  Ok?  Good.  Cart path now too dangerous for golfing carts, big potholes.  Drive on grass thank you.  CPG tell me make course very hard for member and guest golfing tournament.  I mow temporary greens very short and place many many white OB stakes all around the golfing course.  I know things about Darrel Bevins but afraid to report on him please help me

Now, let's hear from Señor Chip

- Charles "Chip" Kennedy

"Chats with Chip" (Chip Kennedy, General Manager) - Thanks Miguel! As always, let me start by saying how much I appreciate you, our members.  I love you guys because I feel like we are all family.  Unfortunately, as with any family, there can be pain, anger and disappointment.  I think I would use all of those words to describe the actions of the anonymous member who scratched off "General Manager" on my parking sign and spray painted "Lying Dick Face" in its place.  

Listen, I get it.  Many of you are upset with the constant dues increases, poor course condition and complete lack of access to the club due to outside tournaments.  But you have to understand I am under enormous pressure to improve the bottom line.  If I can book a last minute Saturday corporate outing and screw the members already on the tee sheet, I'm going to do it.  That's my job.  Going forward, let's try to respect each other and refrain from launching in to personal attacks.

See you at the club!