CPG Mailbag - August 2, 2019

Okay guys, welcome to this week’s mailbag. A quick announcement before we get started. I wanted everyone to know that the Senior Women’s Club Championship has been moved from Saturday, August 17 at 8 a.m. to Monday, November 18 at 6:30 a.m. due to unforeseen scheduling conflicts.

Okay, let’s get to your questions.

Hi CPG, my dad recently got back into golf. Trouble is he’s a slow player and is getting worse. We recently played an empty 5200 yard course and it took us two 4 hours 20 minutes. I’m worried about making tee times at busier courses as we’ll have a JB Holmes ‘pace car’ situation. How do I tell him he needs to play faster without causing offense?

Thanks, Phil, T. - Carmel, CA

There’s nothing more difficult than watching a parent struggle as they age, Phil. It’s difficult to watch. You want to do everything you can to help. In this situation, I would suggest hiring one of those 'Visiting Angels' to babysit your dad on an Executive Course while you're in your standard money game at the club. It's the best of both worlds because you both still get to play golf and those pitch and putts get very little play so him and his 'angel' won't be holding anyone up.

If you’re not interested in spending the dough on a caregiver, maybe try this tip instead. One of my stepdads, Ken, used to pull this trick on me when I was a little kid so maybe you can try it out on your dad. Tell him you’re “busy with work” and you’ll have to meet him on the back nine. This way, you can still get in some work on your game without wasting an entire day and QT with your dad at the expense of a little white lie. Try it out and let me know how it goes.

Dear CPG,

We have an older very wealthy member who is the nicest guy in the world, but he is a terrible golfer. He posted a 147 in the last event and carries a 28 index. That’s not a typo and it’s entered into GHIN. He plays in every single event. They put a handicap flag on the back of his cart, which basically gives him free reign to do whatever the hell he wants. Playing with him is miserable because he can’t see his ball after he hits it. Even when he duffs it short of the ladies tees, which is standard, he will ask “Where’d it go?” He is either the biggest troll or the most oblivious man on earth. I have no idea how he enjoys the game. What are our options? We can’t just sit around and hope for a knee replacement.

Thanks,
Andy E. - Flint, MI

Lots of questions about seniors this week, so let’s stick with this theme. I will say, my patience with seniors already runs thin. However, if he is truly wealthy as you say, things change dramatically. You need to view this as an investment opportunity, not a waste of time. Helping this old fart find his lost balls and line up his putts for him could pay off significantly in 2-3 years.

If he suddenly tips over and croaks, and you stopped playing with him years ago, guess what? You’re not written into his will and you’ve missed out on some inherited cash or a 1994 Lincoln Continental with less than 50k miles on it. You don’t want to be on that side of history. This exact situation happened to me a few years back with one of my senior students, Cecil Bray. Cecil suddenly passed away from a massive coronary in the middle of a lesson. He valued my tutelage and friendship so much, I was the beneficiary of several Persian rugs, two of which still adorn my condo. The others were sold on Craigslist at a premium, thus funding my 2004 boys trip to Sioux City. Thank you, Cecil. You are missed.

Stick with it. It may be worth your while.

Hey CPG,

I am in my early 30s and my body has started to fail me. My back, my knees, my hips, everything hurts when I wake up and I can feel my flexibility and strength leaving me each day, especially after I #play18. I still workout, eat healthy, etc. What are your best tips for improving longevity?

Grant V. - Newton, MA

Great question Grant. There comes a time in every mans life when this happens. Luckily, I'm in peak physical condition for my age. I owe much of that to the Bowflex I bought in '99 which I'm still making payments on.

If your body is getting to the point where it's becoming difficult or even impossible to improve your scores on the golf course, then you are going to need to put in some extra work at the GHIN computer. If you shoot a 91, go ahead and post a 92. If you fire a 95, post 97.  If you shoot 84, don't post. You get the idea. If your buddies somehow notice and call you out on it, just tell them you fat fingered the keyboard. My point is, adding a stroke or two to your handicap each round will give you the same edge that a physically fit body would have given you. And it's much easier. Hope this helps.

Okay guys, that’s it for this week’s mailbag. As always, send your mailbag questions to fore@clubproguy.com.