CPG Mailbag - August 9, 2019

Okay guys, tons of questions this week but I chose a few that deal with the mental side of the game. Specifically how women in your personal life can effect your performance on the course. It's a rich topic that doesn't get near enough attention by the "so-called" Top 100 Instructors in the big golf publications. Let's dive in.

Hey CPG,

On my way to a Saturday scramble my girlfriend called me to question some things she discovered on my internet browser history. We ended up getting into a huge blowup about it. She closed the call by attempting to curse our team by saying she hoped we played like shit. What’s odd though is our team ended up winning C-flight via a 4-way scorecard playoff, which got us our money back and two of our team members even won a couple of those "Life Is Good" t-shirts in the raffle. I also made two solo birdies. Not bad. What are your thoughts on curses/intentionally fighting with your girlfriend in order to channel anger into a solid round?

Kellan T. - Tulsa, OK

Great question. I think you go all in on transparency with your group. If you’re close enough with the guys you’re playing with, just a little “guy talk” about your current lady troubles is perfectly fine and will give everyone an opportunity to get loose and empathize with each other, easing the mounting tension with a $220 B-flight purse staring you in the face. All you have to say is something as simple as “Sorry, guys. Jenna is being a real bitch.” Everyone will understand, even if it isn’t true.

I’m a firm believer in the Herb Brooks “external adversary” method, meaning if you can rally your team or yourself to hate someone else instead of constantly blaming each other for leaving eight-footers short all day, you’ve already won the mental battle and your excuses about slapdick teammates and course conditions will fall to the wayside.

One more thing guys: Deleting your internet search history should become as routine as brushing your teeth.

Hope that helps.

CPG,

I recently started seeing a 23-year old hairdresser on the side. We’re having a ton of sex, but I’ve noticed my game has gone to shit in the past few weeks. I really like her and I want to keep things going because having sex is nice, but I notice my game suffers the day or two after I see her. If I haven’t seen her in a few days, I notice that my game is right where it needs to be, right in the 92-95 range. Should I abstain from seeing her before playing a round, or just hope my equilibrium adjusts? Thanks.

Vance P. - Nashville, TN

A classic debate Vance. Is getting lost in the sweet walls of a woman detrimental to athletic performance? I think we’ve been asking this question since the days of ancient Rome. In my experience, younger women feed off drama. This is why I only pursue single and divorced moms. Their childbearing days are essentially behind them and they just want to bust a nut and have fun.

I’m assuming since you’re seeing a hairdresser that there’s plenty of pillow talk about what kind of split-level home she sees the two of you buying when you leave your wife, which preschool your kids will go to after you get your vasectomy reversed, and how you're going to tackle her unmanageable credit card and beauty school student loan debt. You probably have a lot on your mind as soon as you leave her bed. The scenarios running through your mind have to be terrifying.

There is no way you can play good golf with all of this on your plate. Breaking 90 on a consistent basis takes a clear head and tons of natural ability. Your obvious lack of God given talent isn't something you can control but the hairdresser is. My advice: Dump her while you still have the semblance of a 401k, and pick up a MILF who just wants to have a good time. Your golf game will thank you.

Good luck!

As always, if you have any questions for next week’s mailbag, shoot them over to fore@clubproguy.com.