Date: Wednesday, October 2, 2019, 8:00 a.m. - 8:56 a.m.
Location: Staff Lounge
Chairperson: Chip Kennedy, General Manager
Darrell Bevins, Head Course Marshal
Club Pro Guy, Head Golf Pro
Miguel Vega, Head Groundskeeper
DeAndre Barnes, Snack Bar Head Cook
Anastasia Adams, Beverage Cart Attendant
Ernesto Ortiz, Assistant Groundskeeper (Shampooing the carpet at CPG’s condo)
Tristan Whiteside, Assistant Golf Pro (Contesting parking ticket)
1. Review of previous minutes
Mr. Kennedy opened up the meeting by telling staff members to not engage with members of the local Women’s March just off of club property. They are currently protesting CPG’s “Play 9 and Drop 10” membership package, saying it is a sexist and misogynistic campaign. When asked to explain the difference between sexism and misogyny by Mr. Barnes, Mr. Kennedy said he would check and get back to him. He proceeded to ask for updates from staff members regarding the situation.
2. Women’s March Protestors
CPG defiantly stood behind his campaign, stating that it is a shame that we seem to live in a country that now discourages women from bettering themselves. He echoed the chairman’s sentiments by asking the staff to simply ignore them and although he appreciated Mr. Bevins’s initiative in attempting to disperse the protestors with the club’s industrial-strength power washer, he stated that this problem will simply go away in a couple of days. CPG did note however that a long, drawn out protest may attract media coverage, which may end up driving up fall membership numbers due to an increase in publicity.
3. Club Security
Mr. Bevins reminded the group that he has initiated DEFCON II security measures, which is the highest level of alertness the club has experienced since the passenger mirror on CPG's Miata was vandalized almost 3 weeks ago.
Mr. Bevins updated members on the club’s emergency security protocol, letting the staff know that they should use the rear entrance of the club to avoid the handful of protestors at the main entrance. He also noted that even though he is a staunch proponent of the first amendment and Bill of Rights, he believes these modern day 'Jezebels' would be better served protesting federal governmental overreach than they would a semi-private golf club.
Darrel has relocated the temporary observation tower from the eighth hole to the main entrance. He is not allowed to have firearms on his person while observing the protests, but Mr. Kennedy allowed him to carry a riot shield and one tear gas grenade to be used only in the event the protestors enter club grounds.
4. Groundskeeping Updates
Mr. Vega said he was instructed by CPG and Mr. Bevins to intermittently run the sprinklers along the perimeter fence after manipulating the sprinkler heads to shoot water directly at the protestors. CPG also instructed Miguel to station large speakers near the clubs main gate and blast the Monday Night Football theme song on a constant loop as a form of "Psy Ops" against the assembled women.
Additionally, Darrel instructed Miguel to relocate the hornets nest near the temporary port-a-john on hole 13 to the perimeter fence, but Miguel said that nest has become dormant, telling the group that the hornets probably started flying south for the winter.
5. PR Blitz
In an effort to make the club look more inclusive during the crisis, CPG suggested we appoint a female as the "face" of the club when talking to the media and suggested Anastasia take on that role. Anastasia quickly accepted and claimed wearing her new micro mini skirt on local TV is her best chance to get noticed by the producers of the Bachelorette. Mr. Kennedy quickly rejected the idea and said he would remain as the clubs spokesman to the media.
6. Closing remarks
The Chairperson closed the meeting by asking the members to scale back their antagonization of the protestors and ignore them. He then read an excerpt from “CRUSHING IT!” by Gary Vaynerchuk as those in attendance walked out of the room.
7. Next meeting
Wednesday, October 9, 8 a.m.