Course Marshal Incident Report Weekend of June 14
Below is my incident report from this weekend. The course was at capacity all weekend with it being Father’s Day, so we had our fair share of horseplay as well as major violations. I have compiled a report of all incidents. I was on property all weekend since I do not observe the Father’s Day holiday for personal reasons.
Always remember: if you see something, say something.
Friday, June 14 3:40 p.m.
Observed a group of young males (approx. age 25-27) ducking behind the temporary portajohn between holes 13 and 14. The area smelled of cannabis as we approached. Myself and Deputy Course Marshal Hannity attempted a standard stop and frisk maneuver, but after light resistance in which one of them yelled “rape!”, we let the group off with a stern warning.
Friday, June 14 4:16 p.m.
Responded to a complaint about slow play from a fivesome on hole six. After silently observing from a distance on top of the berm north of the green on six, the fivesome increased their pace by having three party members pick up their three putts and continued on. Pace of play improved after I got nose to nose with the youngest member of the group and screamed for her to "Hurry the f*ck up!".
Friday, June 14 5:07 p.m.
White male, approximate age 26, urinating off the hole 13 tee box in plain view of the adjacent senior living center. Due to the severity and time sensitive nature of the offense I decided to ram him with my patrol cart mid-stream. A brief struggle ensued with his two playing partners which ended when I drew my weapon but did not fire. Original perpetrator suffered a broken pelvis and severe back contusions but is expected to recover.
END OF SHIFT
Saturday, June 15 7:04 a.m.
Responded to complaint of unkempt sand trap on hole 11 by members Holmes and Barnes. Ernesto attended to the matter after repeated attempts to establish radio contact.
Saturday, June 15 9:06 a.m.
Foursome of white males, early 30s attempted to be chummy while checking in late for 9:04 a.m. tee time. Rapport subdued. Apologies not accepted. Precursory pace of play warning issued.
Saturday, June 15 10:47 a.m.
Attended to noise complaint on hole 12. Confiscated JBL FLIP 4 bluetooth speaker. Item returned upon party’s completion of round, despite Ernesto’s suggestion that it be sold on Facebook Marketplace.
Saturday, June 15 11:12 a.m.
Confiscated sixpack of Icehouse domestic beer tallboys from a foursome of white males in their early 20s. Guests informed of zero tolerance policy concerning offproperty alcohol consumption. Guests were removed from course and detained in parking lot. Police dispatched. Officers McGrady and Yanda questioned offending parties and allowed them to leave after a brief interrogation, despite my protest for further questioning in the auxiliary men’s locker room. I observed the interrogation from a distance of 10 feet, but was not allowed to conduct my own line of questioning. Internal investigation is underway. Will update accordingly.
Saturday, June 15 12:43 p.m.
Attire violation by white male, mid 40s. Per course bylaws, carpenter jeans are not approved denimwear. Only fivepocketed denim pants are allowed on club grounds. After discussion with pro shop attendant Justin, who deferred to the snackbar cook Trevor, it was discovered that the offending party was a Groupon member who was unaware of attire standards. Written warning issued and $25 fine assessed.
Saturday, June 15 1:57 p.m.
Responded to radio call about dehydrated member on hole 15. Members complained that the last two Coleman water jugs on five and eight were empty and the jug on 14 had been overtaken by yellow jackets, making it unapproachable. I administered treatment by snapping my fingers near the dehydrated member’s face, but made the executive decision that the individual would receive better care off property. The member was transported to a nearby urgent care facility where he presumably received treatment. No update was available at the time of this report.
Saturday, June 15 3:26 p.m.
Responded to complaint about teenagers vaping in a candy apple red 2009 Ford Escape in south end of parking lot next to the Wendy’s. Verbal contact made from approx. 50 yards out, but was unable to apprehend suspects before they hopped the curb and left, heading southbound. Attempted pursuit, but was unable to breach curb. Will be recommending off road tires, brush guard and engine upgrades to the Marshal’s cart at my next meeting with club GM. Security cam footage screenshot posted to bulletin board.
END OF SHIFT
Sunday, June 16 7:28 a.m.
Assisted senior member Bingham in searching for a lost ball on hole three. Set my Casio alarm watch to 3 minutes and we were not able to locate his Precept Laddie Extreme within the window under the rules. Informed him the course was too stacked up to re-tee. Insisted he take a drop and move on.
Sunday, June 16 8:47 a.m.
Precursory pace of play warning issued to late arriving 8:44 a.m. party.
Sunday, June 16 10:16 a.m.
Located four empty Fireball mini bottles on the hole seven tee box. A violation had occurred, as Jim Beam Red Stag is the only club approved flavored whiskey. Bottles were warm to the touch, but may have been due to sunlight exposure. Interrogated foursome of white females in their late 50s on hole eight, but due to lack of evidence, no further action was taken. Will continue to investigate.
Sunday, 16 12:17 p.m.
Dispatched Ernesto to fetch the troublesome #73 cart which had once again began to overheat and discharge yellowish gray smoke on the number four fairway. Also, loud screeching noises could be heard from the cart as he approached. Ernesto was able to replace cart #73 with cart #47. He was also able to extinguish the flames coming from the rear of cart #73 after parking it near the maintenance shed, preventing a total loss. Cart #73 has been removed from the fleet, parked behind the maintenance shed in between a pile of 2x4s and the old swing cage. Cart #73 is scheduled for repair this week. This is the third such incident we have had with cart #73 this season. Upon investigation, cart #73 was passed over for routine maintenance several times this spring.
Sunday, June 16 3:23 p.m.
Near end of shift, noticed a food truck parked in the west quadrant of the parking lot. I asked the operator for their permit. After they would not produce it, the police were notified. I was later informed by club personnel and officers McGrady and Yanda that the club will be hosting food trucks in an effort to attract millennial nonmembers on Sunday afternoons as well as decrease our internal food costs. The Office of the Course Marshal requests a more open line of communication in the future concerning these decisions.
END OF SHIFT
Faithfully submitted and notarized, Darrel Bevins, Head Course Marshal