Christmas at the Club: Giving Season

December 24, 2020

The holidays are a special time for me. The festive holiday spirit has been permeating throughout the club for several weeks now. Miguel stocked the maintenance shed refrigerator with “Cocolito,” a Mexican version of eggnog that absolutely knocked me on my ass Monday afternoon after I mistook it for standard eggnog. Three styrofoam cups of that stuff and I was toast. Truth be told, I probably shouldn’t have driven home that night, but my Miata is like a DUI 'lucky charm' and I was able to make it back to my condo unscathed.

Darrel Bevins and Carl Brubaker created a little controversy with the nativity scene at the club's entrance this year. It featured the baby Jesus and his mommy, the Virgin Mary, accompanied by a cardboard cutout of Donald Trump in the place of Joseph, which they say is the "reason for the season".

Predictably, our general manager Chip Kennedy asked Darrell and Carl to replace the nativity scene with a more politically correct and secularly appropriate display. So Jesus was replaced with a 20-foot tall effigy of Santa Claus shooting an AR-15 at Chinese Premier Xi Jinping. 

As festive as it is around the club, my joyous holiday spirit became somewhat dampened as gifts from members began to pour in. I understand it's been a lean year for many, but as a frontline worker, I thought I would get a little more consideration this year. When I placed the "Heroes Work Here" sign near the bag drop last March I was hoping it would illicit a little more gratitude at years end, but I guess I was wrong.

Let's take a random sampling of this year's haul......

Vikram Kothery - A bowl of Gulab Jamun

Just what every head pro wants, a tupperware full of the Indian dessert Gulab Jamun. Made from scratch by Vikram's wife Jeevika, this gift was immediately regifted to Miguel for a job well done in 2020.

Tom Billington (Tom Billington Kia) - Donation to Toys for Tots "in my name"

By virtue of owning a car dealership, Tom is easily our wealthiest member and to me, this gift comes off as insulting. If I wanted to donate to a charity, I would have done so myself..... (which I didn't).

Gil Dareberry - $25 Olive Garden gift card

OK, this was a pretty good one. 

Stan Perry - The book "The 7 Habits of Highly effective People"

Mr. Passive aggressive! Guess what Stan, it's not my management style that needs work, it's your golf game! Besides, I don't read books.

Shelby Clayman - $20 Gift Card to Message Envy

Bold 2021 prediction: I will have sex with Shelby Clayman 

Edna Frank - Remote control helicopter

What am I, nine years old? Funny how two weeks after Edna told me her daughter's family converted to Jehovah's Witnesses I get a gift that feels a lot like it was meant for her grandson Christopher. Miguel and Alejandro spent all afternoon Tuesday using it to try and get the sneakers of the power lines near the 4th tee.

Frank and Cathy Spunt - $25 Gift Card to the AMC 20 Megaplex

Would have been a great gift if this theater didn't close it's doors for good back in July due to the pandemic. 


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