Ana here with another mailbag ~~<3<3<3~~!!
I’m so excited because the cooler weather has given me the opportunity to focus on my writing more! Also I haven’t been wearing bras on the course so I am nipping out HARD. Even when I’m wearing quarter zips lol. So even though the course has slowed down, I’m making more money than ever. God is so good.
Anyhoo, let’s get to your questions!Cart Girl,My girlfriend showed me her halloween costume for this year and let’s just say I’m a touch concerned. I told her about my 'I Dream of Jeannie' fetish a couple of months ago and boy, did she go all out. Her costume is very revealing. Not to mention Halloween is a children’s holiday and she spent about $85 on this get up. I was hoping this would be a costume just for me, but she’s entered her company’s costume contest and RSVP’d to a Halloween party at a club downtown. The cash prize would offset the high cost of the costume, however. I’m just a bit worried that this is a massive red flag. What are your thoughts?Tim J. - Jacksonville, FL
She’s a grown ass woman and Halloween is a grown ass woman’s holiday. It’s basically Christmas for hot girls. If she wants to slut it up for one night, she’s allowed to! I once won $6,000 in one month in various costume contests in 2017. All I did was put on my tightest pair of jean shorts and a 'wife beater', said I was Daisy Duke and that was all she wrote. Halloween can be an investment opportunity if she plays her cards right and it sounds like she is! Who cares if her coworkers are slobbering all over her for an afternoon, she’s going to at least win a gift card to Outback or maybe an extra day of PTO in lieu of a cash prize.
Also, your woman now has a go-to sexy time costume on hand at all times for you to enjoy. Take her shopping and maybe pay her phone bill for a few months and pray that she breaks this thing out on nights you guys get hammered to spice things up! She’s pleasing you with this costume! She’s listening to your wants and desires. That’s hot Tim! Ana,I’m at my wit’s end. My girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago and I’ve been giving dating apps a try. I’m striking out left and right. What are girls like you looking for in dating app profiles?Jeff K. - Denver, CO
Awww Jeff. I’m sorry to hear about the breakup. The good news is, a breakup can change your life for the better. It gives you an opportunity to evaluate your life with questions like “Should I lose some weight?” or “Do I need to change my career to make more money?” Those are two easy things to accomplish and should be the two starting points for any recently single man.
As for the dating apps, my first piece of advice is to change your job to pilot, doctor or professional athlete on your profile. This is the best way to get in the door and once you’ve started getting dates, just play along with it and hope things don’t get serious. It’s tough because the first thing she will do is try to stalk you on Facebook and Instagram, so put those profiles on LOCK young man lol.
This is purely a temporary measure to start getting dates with higher quality girls who aren’t very bright. They’re there for one reason only. To make other women jealous.
The women in your circle will start to see you on the town with hot girls and that’ll set their group chats abuzz about all the dates with hot women you’re going on. This is what I call “winning the ground game.” I learned this term when I was researching why Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 election. I still don’t know what it means, but it’s fun to say.
Anyway, once you’ve repaired your street cred, you’ll start noticing more and more women approaching you. Word gets around! Women are jealous creatures, and jealousy is a huge attraction driver in the fairer sex. Put in the time, do a little research into your new fake career and this little white lie about your work history will start paying dividends for you. They'll be lining up in no time ;)
Okay guys. That’s it for this week! If you want to ask me a question, just shoot me a DM at email@example.com.