To the Membership:
As many of you are aware, Serenity Mathews tendered her resignation over the winter as our on-course beverage cart consultant. Serenity was one of our most loyal and valued employees and I was disappointed to lose her. Her playful spirit, youthful enthusiasm and questionable morals will be missed by all of us here at the club. Needless to say, whoever replaces her will have some very big bras to fill. I hope you can all appreciate and understand how difficult it is to keep great employees. Some birds are just too bright to be caged. Please join me in wishing Serenity the best of luck as she begins a promising new career in Las Vegas.
Understandably, conducting the search to replace Serenity has been an all-consuming project for me during this off-season. Sadly, Important club related projects such as revamping member tournaments, upgrading general service levels and conducting routine employee training have all been put on hold or scrapped completely to allow me the time needed to focus on replacing Serenity.
My hiring strategy was two-pronged: 1) Looks and 2) attitude
General appearance is a given. The hotter the better. (duh!) But what some lesser experienced club pros often forget is that a beverage cart girl's attitude (or what I like to call 'general playfulness') can be equal to or even more important than looks. That's why role play is such an important part of my interview process. I put each candidate through a battery of hypothetical on and off-course situations to see how they react. From a rowdy bachelor golf outing on the course to a golf pro who asks her to "stay late" to help dot scorecards, I need to find out who the team players are.
Having said that, it is my pleasure to announce our "Final 4". These candidates have made it through the rigorous four stage process and are all excited to prove that they have what it takes to be our next beverage cart girl. Allow me to introduce them:
1. Bobbi Jo Mann - (32-23-34) Bobbi is currently taking a gap year from Wyandotte County Cosmetology School. She enjoys Snap Chatting, watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette and weed.
2, Jasmine Scarvelli - (38-22-32) "Jas" is currently between jobs as an exotic dancer and hopes to one day become a veterinarian. She enjoys long walks, binge watching Netflix and hanging out in and around casinos.
3. Mercedes - (36-26-34) This self proclaimed 'Wild Child' is an anything goes type of girl who is sure to spice up the Tuesday night men's league. In the initial interview when I asked why I should hire her, she replied "Because I just DGAF". Needless to say she became an immediate finalist.
4. Starr Redmond - (38/27/33) After serving time for what she claims was a string of bogus solicitation charges, Starr is in search of a fresh start. Her nearly obsessive willingness to do anything for a tip was apparent during the interview process and I think could be a preview to the service levels she will provide here at the club. In addition to staring at her smart phone, Starr enjoys her tattoos, rescue pit bull and recreational methamphetamines.
As you can see, we have some exceptional candidates. In the coming days our new Head of on-course Marshals and Outside Services, Mr. Darrel Bevins will conduct a separate screening of the four finalists. Darrel's buy in is important due to the fact they will work in tandem throughout the season.
The final selection won't be easy, it is my hope to have a decision made by April 15th. I want to thank all of the 132 applicants that applied through CraigsList and made it through the various stages of the process. I'd also like to thank my girlfriend Tawny Ray for encouraging several of her co-workers to apply.
As for the members, I appreciate your understanding for the fact that I was less than engaged during this off season but I hope you now understand it was for a very good reason.
See you on the course!