Date: Wednesday, February 19th, 2020, 8:00 a.m. - 8:52 a.m.
Location: Staff Lounge
Chairperson: Chip Kennedy, General Manager
Club Pro Guy, Head Golf Pro
Darrell Bevins, Head Course Marshall
Miguel Vega, Head Groundskeeper
DeAndre Barnes, Snack Bar Head Cook
Tristan Whiteside, Assistant Golf Pro
Ernesto Ortiz, Assistant Groundskeeper (Locating CPG’s Miata, he forgot which Longhorn Steakhouse he left it at)
Anastasia Adams, Beverage Cart Attendant (Picked up morning bartending shift at Harrah’s)
1. Review of previous minutes
With Darrel not yet in the room, Mr. Kennedy opened the meeting by reminding the group to tune in to tonight's Democratic Presidential Debate on CNN.
He urged the group to pay particular attention to Elizabeth Warren as she is his candidate of choice. In addition to her stance on the climate crisis and transgender Bill of Rights, Mr. Kennedy explained how Warren's plan to eliminate all student debt would be particularly beneficial to his family, as his wife Jenn amassed over $190,000 in student loan debt at Vassar College where she majored in Women's Studies and currently works as a waitress at Dave & Busters.
Mr. Kennedy also reminded Miguel that Ms. Warren's plan to bring illegal immigrants out of the shadows would be of particular interest to him.....at that moment Darrel walked in and Mr. Kennedy abruptly stopped talking. An awkward silence fell over the room.
2. Valentine’s Day Shamble
CPG addressed the controversy surrounding last weekend's "Cupids Delight" Valentines Day Shamble. The membership as a whole is furious that the club has not refunded the $75.00 per player entry fee due to the fact the event was cancelled for inclement weather.
CPG remains steadfast that even though the event did not take place, each participant still received their tournament goodie bag (thanks to our friends at Tom Billington Kia) which more than made up for the cost of signing up.
Each participant received a Valentine themed gift bag that included a $15 off coupon to Misty’s Adult Playpen and Bookstore, a copy of the 50 Shades of Grey sequel...."50 Shades Darker" on Blu-ray, a bag of 20 naked lady tees as well as leftover bulk assorted condoms that Alejandro brought with him from Guatemala last June.
CPG relayed to the group that refunding the entry fees will result in a financial loss that the club simply cannot absorb at this time. He reminded the group that members of country clubs are 'conditioned' to be disappointed in management and like everything else, will get over it in due time.
3. Security Update
Mr. Bevins is back from his sabbatical, or as he called it, his “sabbactical,” which combines the words “sabbatical” and “tactical”. He said his time away was well spent, especially at the Galveston Gun, Knife & Home Defense convention late last month. Mr. Bevins reported that he hosted a breakout session about home defense entitled ”Ready, Shoot, Ask Questions." He said the recording of the seminar has already been removed from YouTube, but he has submitted it to infowars.com and a private, demonetized version is now available on Daily Motion and FOX Nation.
He said he is excited to implement the many things he learned in Texas here at the club, including a new, less intrusive stop-and-frisk policy that will be enforced on all senior members this year. The current stop-and-frisk policy will remain status quo for all members under the age of 65.
Mr. Bevins also alerted staff members not to be alarmed if they hear any screaming or muffled shouts from the maintenance shed as he will be practicing enhanced interrogation techniques on Ernesto over the course of the next 72 hours. Ernesto agreed as long as he is paid time-and-a-half. Mr. Kennedy told Darrel that the cost would have to come out of his pocket, to which Mr. Bevins tacitly agreed to by silently nodding.
4. Course Maintenance Update
Mr. Vega continues to work diligently on getting the course ready for the fast approaching spring season. He has begun to spray Roundup® on all the key areas of the back nine and, will in his words, "hammer" the front nine starting early next week.
The on-course water coolers continue to be an issue. Unbeknownst to management, Miguel admitted that Alejandro and Ernesto have been filling the on-course coolers with creek water since mid-August due to the long drive to the hose at the maintenance shed. Miguel is now concerned that the coolers may be contaminated with the chemicals that he and his crew have been dumping in the creek over the course of the last 48 months.
Mr. Kennedy regretted that new coolers were not included in the 2020 budget and asked Miguel to have the coolers washed, scrubbed and disinfected. He then admonished the group to not speak of this issue again.
5. Closing Remarks
Mr. Kennedy thanked the staff for their attentiveness during the offseason and has stated that membership interest is up, but revenues have yet to accelerate, so he urged the staff to bear down the next few weeks and hit the spring season with ferocity and gumption. He then began playing a 17 minute long JJ Watt motivational video on YouTube as the staff exited the room.
6. Next Meeting
Wednesday, February 26th, 8 a.m.