CPG Staff Meeting Minutes - March 30, 2020

Date: Monday, March 30, 2020, 8:00 a.m. - 8:40 a.m.

Location: zoom.us

Chairperson: Chip Kennedy, General Manager

In Attendance (via Zoom Video Conferencing):
Club Pro Guy, Head Golf Pro
Darrell Bevins, Head Course Marshall
Miguel Vega, Head Groundskeeper
Tristan Whiteside, Assistant Golf Pro
Anastasia Adams, Beverage Cart Attendant

Absent:
Ernesto Ortiz, Assistant Groundskeeper (Does not own computer or smartphone)
DeAndre Barnes (furloughed)

1. Review of previous minutes

Mr. Kennedy opened the meeting by apologizing for his “connectivity issues” and went on for over six minutes asking if everyone could hear him. He eventually declared that he would go on even if people couldn’t hear him. 

Mr. Kennedy then began to explain that the club is in a dire financial situation due to the governments 'stay at home' order.  He said a staff shake up is necessary and announced that 'essential' workers would continue to be paid at a reduced salary and non-essential workers would be paid in shop credit.

When Miguel repeatedly asked if he and his staff were considered essential or non-essential, Mr. Kennedy replied that the video was 'breaking up' and he couldn't understand him.

Action: Kennedy

2. Web Instruction Series

CPG has begun “cyber lessons” with members in accordance with county mandated social distancing rules. He has seen an influx in participation and therefore continues to drive revenue during the crisis.

CPG then enabled 'screen share' on his computer to show the staff how members can sign up. A LiveJasmin.com pop-up obscured the demonstration for about 30 seconds and the following tabs were open on CPG's laptop:

Xvideos
PornHub
Xtube
Ass parade
Brazzers
xHamster
XNXX
YouPorn
YouJizz
TastyBlacks
HClips
TnaFlix
Tube8
Spankbang
DrTuber
Spankwire
KeezMovies
Nuvid
SunPorno
BravoTube
PornHD
Eporner
SexVid
XXXBunker
TheNewPorn
Mofosex...
PornDreamer
X18 Xbabe
UpdateTube
BeFuck
Hdmovz
PornRox
PornMaki
Pornid
Inxporn
TopFreePornVideos
Slutload
ProPorn
FakePorn
Pornhost
HandjobHub
Vpornvideos
MyXVids
Pornicom
DansMovies
Wetplace
AdultFreex
Wankflix
88fuck
Fapdu
Rude
FreudBox
AdultInc
PornHeed
HdPorn
Orgasm
PornRabbit
MadThumbs
Fux Eroxia
DeviantClip
Xxvids
H2porn
ApeTube
MetaPorn
YourLustMovies
ElephantTube Long
PornerBros
Tubegalore
3movs Ass-Time
HQButt
BangBus
BangBros
Ghetto tube
RedTube
BrickHouseButts
GhettoGaggers and finally....
GloryHole

Mr. Kennedy told CPG a demo was unnecessary and reminded him that company issued laptops were for business use only. 

Action: CPG

3. Lockdown Update

Mr. Bevins attended via speakerphone from an undisclosed location, refusing to join the video conference, claiming that the Chicomms could potentially be listening in on the meeting.

Darrel stressed that club security is national security and has been patrolling the club grounds day and night for the past week. In addition to changing the setting on his taser from "stun" to "maim", Mr. Bevins has constructed an outpost on #8 due to its advantageous hilltop position and reminded the group that the new social distancing policies put in place by the club will be policed with increased vigor due to the severity of this crisis.

Darrel informed the group that any member seen riding in a cart with another member, touching a flag stick, touching another member, getting within 6 feet of another member or touching their own face will be forcibly quarantined in the work shed near the driving range until the proper health authorities can be notified. No exceptions.

Action: Bevins

4. Secondary Income

Miss Adams joined the teleconference poolside from Cabo where she is riding out the crisis with her personal trainer Nick.

She prepared a quick five-minute presentation on additional income during social distancing. The presentation included a brief walkthrough on how to set up an OnlyFans account, stating that she makes over $500 a week with pictures of her feet.

Mr. Kennedy thanked Anastasia and quickly turned his attention to Miguel for his update.

Action: Adams

5. Welcome Back, Miguel

Mr. Kennedy welcomed back Mr. Vega, who has made a full recovery from COVID-19. Miguel is still on bedrest, so he and his wife Margarite waved to the camera. 

Miguel once again tried to ask Mr. Kennedy if he was considered an 'essential' or 'non-essential' employee only to be interrupted by Mr. Kennedy for his closing remarks.

5. Closing Remarks

Mr. Kennedy began to read a quote from Winston Churchill about overcoming incredible odds but everyone already logged out of the video call.

6. Next Meeting
TBD