Date: Wednesday, October 16, 2019, 8:00 a.m. - 8:49 a.m.
Location: Staff Lounge
Chairperson: Chip Kennedy, General Manager
Darrell Bevins, Head Course Marshal
Club Pro Guy, Head Golf Pro
Miguel Vega, Head Groundskeeper
DeAndre Barnes, Snack Bar Head Cook
Anastasia Adams, Beverage Cart Attendant
Ernesto Ortiz, Assistant Groundskeeper (Filing another tax extension for CPG on TurboTax)
Tristan Whiteside, Assistant Club Pro (Couples therapy with new girlfriend)
1. Review of previous minutes
Mr. Kennedy updated the group on the tremendous groundswell of support that the club’s “Teeing Off for Ta-Tas” Scramble and Fun Run breast cancer awareness fundraiser has received in the past week. Although there is some concern that the majority of the signups have been divorced middle-aged men, he is anticipating the event to be a massive success. He called on CPG to give a more detailed update.
2. Teeing Off For Ta-Tas
CPG was very excited to update the staff on the enormous momentum of TOFTT. It has been very well received. He has also brought on Hal’s Pumpkin Patch and Distillery as a sponsor, who will be donating two pumpkins and a bottle of whiskey per participant. CPG then showed a promotional photo of the giveaway, which was a whiskey bottle placed between two ripe pumpkins. Ms. Adams has volunteered to do a risque Instagram photoshoot to push out to her 1,800 followers to drive up even more interest in the event. When asked by Mr. Kennedy if the photoshoot would be tasteful, CPG asked for his trust and an “artist’s license” to ensure the best possible promotional outcome.
Big Rick’s Pontoon Palace is on board as well. They will be providing a 24-foot Sun Tracker Party Barge on hole 12, aka “The Motorboat Hole” where players will have a chance to win the boat with a hole in one.
CPG also noted that he did reach out to Tom Billington Kia, but they are still upset about the incident with their Kia Soul being vandalized with a homophobic slur during last month's member-guest tournament. CPG is waiting for a call back.
3. Modifications to the Grounds
Mr. Vega informed the staff that he has been tasked by CPG to sculpt two large mounds in the fairway of hole six, the longest hole on the course, and to temporarily rename it “The Sweater Stretcher.” Participants will be encouraged to “split the gap” between the two mounds with their balls. The prize for what he called “carving the hams” will be a coupon for buy-50-get-10-free wings at Twin Peaks and $5 off any men’s haircuts coupon at Sport Clips (St. Louis location).
4. Attire Standards
Mr. Bevins expressed concern about attire from attending female participants, especially those from Twin Peaks and Bottoms Up Gentlemen’s Club. Miss Adams interjected, ensuring Mr. Bevins that she will be supervising all women in attendance to ensure that the event is classy in its appearance and execution. She has strategically placed all Twin Peaks girls on holes farthest from the clubhouse and out of any possible sight lines from the adjacent elementary school on the south side of the property.
Miss Adams also took the opportunity to pitch her “peep hole” idea, which involves having a nude dancer from Bottoms Up hide in a tent next to the green on hole 15 and for any participant that pays $20, she will scamper out onto the green and place a ball within 10 feet of the hole. The idea was shot down by Mr. Kennedy, but praised by CPG who noted there would be “a time and a place” for such an idea in the future.
Action: Bevins, Adams, CPG
5. Event Catering
Mr. Barnes said CPG came to him with themed menu ideas for the event and detailed his suggestions as well as updated Mr. Kennedy on the food cost of each items. The suggested menu items were:
-Pumpkin cream pies
-Stuffed mushroom caps
-Large melons (honeydew, cantaloupe, etc.)
-”Mugs for jugs” commemorative beer steins
-Bazookas chewing gum
-Biscuits and gravy
Mr. Kennedy expressed strong concern whether or not the staff had been taking an appropriate approach to the event, asking if they thought they were taking it too far to which CPG replied that they weren’t taking things far enough. Darrel then questioned Mr. Kennedy's sexuality.
6. Closing remarks
The Chairperson closed the meeting by praising the creativity of the staff, but asking them to remain respectful as the club has an image to protect. He then played George Clooney’s speech from the end of “Up in the Air” as the meeting closed.
7. Next meeting
Wednesday, October 23, 8 a.m.