Date: Wednesday, October 9, 2019, 8:00 a.m. - 8:52 a.m.
Location: Staff Lounge
Chairperson: Chip Kennedy, General Manager
Darrell Bevins, Head Course Marshal
Club Pro Guy, Head Golf Pro
Miguel Vega, Head Groundskeeper
DeAndre Barnes, Snack Bar Head Cook
Tristan Whiteside, Assistant Golf Pro
Ernesto Ortiz, Assistant Groundskeeper (Replacing vandalized parking signs)
1. Review of previous minutes
Mr. Kennedy praised the staff for their patience and professionalism while navigating the Women’s March protests over the past week. The protestors have now dispersed. The Chairman especially praised the quick thinking provided by CPG, who was able to organize a counter protest/bikini carwash by leveraging his relationship with several dancers from the local gentleman's club "Bottoms Up". He praised it as an “excellent use of external resources.”
He then opened the floor for updates.
2. Breast Cancer Awareness Month
CPG announced his plans for the club’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month initiative.
“Teeing Off For Ta-Tas” will take place on Saturday, October 25. The event has generated tremendous corporate interest. The local 'Twin Peaks' has pledged to cater and staff the event, thanks to connections via our own Ms. Anastasia Adams.
Licensed chiropractor, Dr. Tim “The Boob Man” Barton will be on club grounds to give free breast augmentation and rhinoplasty consultations as well as complementary breast examinations to all female participants between the ages of 18 and 45.
CPG has also updated the pro shop inventory with various pink items from The Nancy Lopez Collection® as well as several cases of pink neon Noodle golf balls from Taylor Made. Unfortunately, the low margin on these items makes it nearly impossible for the club to donate proceeds to any of the breast cancer research foundations. The decision was made to have the local UPS store make a large cardboard check made out to the American Cancer Society in the amount of $1,000 for a photo op that will be blasted out on social media, but then an 'actual' donation will never be made.
3. Breast Cancer Fundraising
Miss Adams has also been active in the club’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month initiatives, volunteering to offer practice breast examinations on herself at $20 a pop. Unfortunately, Mr. Kennedy expressed concern whether or not this would be appropriate or even legal. Regardless, Miss Adams has leapt into action in her fundraising efforts. She has garnered support from several local businesses regarding the charity scramble, promising “a good time” to anyone who shows up willing to donate.
She also requested permission to leave early on certain days to have “business dinners” (her air quotes) with some of the interested parties willing to donate at higher levels.
Anastasia then explained how passionate she is about this charity because she has several friends who are unhappy with the size of their breasts and feels like this is a way for her to finally give back.
4. Operation Daylight Savings Time
Mr. Bevins took the floor to update the staff on preparations for modified security measures as the days get shorter. Mr. Bevins has purchased a pair of night vision goggles as well as an infrared thermal scope for his crossbow in preparation for reduced daylight hours. He has also mounted sensored floodlights in different strategic locations around the course. When asked where the location of the lights were, Mr. Bevins replied “If you’ve tripped them, it’s already too late.”
He closed by reminding staff to set their clocks back on November 3.
5. Groundskeeping Update
Mr. Vega asked staff members to not be alarmed if they detect a gasoline scent over the next several days. Alejandro will be winterizing our fleet of golf carts by draining all of the gasoline and oil and dumping the contents in to the creek near the cart barn that runs through the golf course. Miguel thinks that one, maybe two good rain storms will push the hazardous material down stream.
Miguel also asked for leaf burning approval from Mr. Kennedy, promising to avoid last year’s incident involving what was supposed to be a controlled burn which resulted in a fire and subsequent septic explosion that destroyed the halfway house on hole 13 and closed the course for three days while hazmat teams attended to the matter. Mr. Kennedy denied the request.
6. Closing remarks
The Chairperson closed the meeting by asking members to put on a full court press for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. He closed the meeting by playing Caitlyn Jenner’s speech from the 2016 ESPYs.
6. Next meeting
Wednesday, October 16, 8 a.m.